I get this question a lot it seems. To me the rocketship is my journey, and telling it to fly high is saying shoot for the stars. I dunno. Now I have an affinity for space ships and stars lol.

Anyway, I’m drinking and this song came on and I thought, “wow, this is probably the inspiration for my site!”

Yeah. Oh yeah..

Without the love/sex/airplane…

I updated my portfolio website and added the TTF Titles Plugin Work Around/Usage page. I also updated my free themes page I really hope someone downloads them and uses them. I worked hard on them! I think they’re totally cute.

Also, this is a fun love song. You don’t see these too often anymore, but listen and love it. (Have you noticed my Des’ree obsession lately?)

I posted this song a little while ago and, my God, does it still hold true to me. I just love the message behind it. It keeps me collected and centered. I have a hard time sometimes dealing with all of this crap and today my mom said, “you’re almost there, Angi.” I started crying because I know that I am.

It has been one year and seven months since I had something taken away from me — twice. I think given the circumstances, I have been dealing with it very well. I got STD tested, I sought out help, I’ve blogged about how I feel, and I’ve stayed abstinent. (Abstinence came a little later than I’d hoped, but when I felt worthless, I lost all judgment and became reckless. I understand and remain accountable. I got the STD test after the fact and after starting my abstinence protest.) I’ve dated, I’ve cried, I’ve gained weight, I’ve lost weight and you know what… I’m still a bubbly, happy person.

He took my family, but he didn’t take me. I haven’t thought about it for weeks until something reminded me about it. Then, I searched out the first location. I didn’t know the area and didn’t know where I was, but something told me to look. I found it. I found it and I cried.

I am almost there.

You had the upper hand in mental, physical and emotional strength but you didn’t know that my wisdom surpasses your years and my years put together. Thank you for doing what you did to me because I am a much better person. I was able to determine WHICH family members were REAL family members or not; AND, I was able to find myself in all of this mess.

I am a wonderful, strong person. Someday, sooner or later, you’re going to slip up and you’re going to mess up. While I know you still read my weblog, I want to make damn sure you know that I will be filing one more report that will coincide with my other report and it’s a matter of time. (Thanks for handing me the last piece of the puzzle, by the way.)

Just. A. Matter. Of. Time.

Also, for the “family” that claims that they are doing the right thing, I forgive you. I forgive you because you really didn’t hurt me. I will never accept you back into my life and when we meet in Heaven, I will most likely spit in your face. You are ALL beneath me. You are ALL on his level.

Again, it’s just a matter of time!

Ohh oh yes. I made my first ever image-filled theme for WordPress. It’s, in fact, the theme I am currently using! (Tweaked of course to my customizations.) Anyway, here it is:

Lately I have been experiencing some backlash? I was doing so great and now I feel like I’m losing it. I’m eating like a fricken cow because I’m stressed. I’m stressed because of my parents. I made my mom very mad at me and in the back of my mind I say, “so what? I’m mad, too!” but then my heart is saying, “why did you do that to your mom?” Ugh. Plus, I’ve been working a lot and I feel like I can’t breathe at work. I’ve been working in a section that requires me to work alone so I have to take on ALL the customers by myself AND I have to be done within a deadline. Which is normal when you think about it like that, but I just feel overwhelmed with it all.

I’ve also lacked motivation to run and exercise. I got on the treadmill yesterday and I did it half-assed. I didn’t even care. I did bare minimum of my exercises… TODAY I feel like I don’t want to do any of it. What do I do? Do I force myself? Do I let this wake of depression wash over me and when it’s done pick up where I left off? I am just so confused on this. I feel like if I force myself, I will hate it and not do it afterward. I feel like if I wait too long to pick it back up then I will be worse off. UGH.

Then my LOVE life. Don’t even get me started! I’m ready to date and the people that were wanting to date me are suddenly nowhere to be found. WHATEVER. Obviously, since they don’t want to wait for me, I’m not going to wait for them? Right? Anyway, I’ll just wait and see what happens. There is no rush, but it does get frustrating when you have dogs barking at your ankles and when you finally lean down to pet them, they’re gone. (Good analogy, right? I know!)